


Oh Those Sleepless Nights

by Strawmari



Category: Good Girls (TV)
Genre: Angst, Dreams and Nightmares, F/M, Guilt, Violence, light fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-11-02
Packaged: 2020-12-17 06:43:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21050012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Strawmari/pseuds/Strawmari
Summary: Beth is trying to cope with shooting Rio, only he has other plans.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first story i've written .. and i sat on it for a while, super nervous about posting it. so, this is me posting and running away :)
> 
> I don't own any characters/show and any similarities to other stories are coincidental.

_ He held the gun out in her direction, his hand steady, their fingers brushing against each other as she pulled away. She didn’t want to shoot anyone, not Dean, not Boomer and certainly not a cop. _

_ “Shut up bitch and just handle it..”. _

Beth shot up in her bed before the trigger was pulled, fear present in her breathing as she ran her hand across her face. It wasn’t anything new, she’d been having the same recurring one since the incident at the loft. She supposed it wasn’t a nightmare, but a memory, a memory she wanted to forget but her subconscious wouldn’t let her.

Then there were the nights when she would get a good nights sleep, those were almost worse than the sleepless ones. She would wake up and start making blueberry pancakes for the kids when it would hit her, Rio wouldn’t get to do that for Marcus, never again and that was on her.

She would put on a happy face, a front for the girls that everything was fine with her, that their business was all right, but the facade disappeared when the door closed behind them. Sometimes in meetings the girls would look at her and she would almost break, almost want to remove the mask and let them in, but she couldn’t — wouldn’t put that on them. It was her fault, and hers alone.

_ “You feeling alright?” Ruby asked, taking her stack of fake cash from the counter. _

_ “Yeah, I didn’t sleep well last night”. _

Beth thought all the lies would’ve ended the second she told Rio she couldn’t kill anyone. Then again, she supposed that was a lie too. All it took for her to pull the trigger on him was the change in his tone and the darkness that enveloped around them. Not the darkness of the loft, although there was that too, but the trauma of being kidnapped from her own house and being told she needed to kill a federal agent. She wasn’t a psychopath, she couldn’t just kill someone and Rio knew that.

Her phone rang breaking her from her downward spiral, Dean, she let out a sigh and answered “Yes?”.

He wanted an extra day with the kids to take them to an amusement park and she said yes, she would never deny him a chance to be with the kids. The same couldn’t be said for him. She often thought back to the day she came home to find the note on the refrigerator, the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, and the automatic heartbreak that ripped through her chest.

_ “He left me and he took the kids”. _

It had been hard enough telling the girls, but then she had to meet with Rio to get the money for Stan and he noticed the shift in her demeanor. Beth stopped lying to him after the fiasco with Boomer, he saw right through her, so why waste either of their time.

_ “My husband took my kids”. _

_ Out of the corner of her eye she saw him moving his drink around in his hand, he didn’t have a quip ready to go and if she wasn’t feeling down, she would’ve chalked it up to a victory. _

_ “I know it's lonely at the top” his voice was sincere and warm, but she couldn’t stop the small laugh that released. When she voluntarily _ _joined crime, the last thing she expected was for her kids to be taken, and maybe that was a lack of knowledge on her part. _

That’s the thing really, Rio understood her, and without him there beside her it made it all that more difficult. Yet here she was, sitting alone in her bed, holding her chest after reliving the moment she took Rio away from Marcus—away from herself. She knew she had to get out from under the sheets and pull on some clothes; she was meeting up with the girls at Lucky’s later to go over the next step in their rising empire.

Throwing on a red floral blouse and a pair of jeans, she made her way to the bathroom to try to hide the bags under her eyes. She would’ve walked right out her bedroom door if she hadn't noticed a yellow sticky note on the mirror. The familiar handwriting caused her breath to hitch, it couldn’t be, he was dead.

Tugging it from the mirror, she took in the messy scrawl “you look good ma”.

“Rio?” she whispered, and she wasn’t sure if it was to herself or wishful thinking that he was still in her house. Met with silence, Beth dropped the note inside her bag and slowly made her way to the van. The drive was excruciating, one moment she was on the verge of tears thinking back to the night she shot Rio, and the next, she was trying to piece together what could’ve went down after she left Turner in the loft.

If Rio was alive, why hadn’t he shown up prior to now?, Why didn’t he pop into her room as she cried herself to sleep?.

Beth walked into Lucky’s seeing the girls were already seated, the three plates of breakfast laid out on the table. They always ordered the same scrambled eggs, bacon and hash browns whenever they met there.

“Sorry I'm late, stuff got crazy at home”.

“Don’t Deansie have the kids?” Annie asked, picking up a fork full of hash browns and dipping it into the pile of ketchup on her plate.

“I found this on my mirror this morning, I think it’s from Rio” Beth laid the note in the middle of the table. She wasn’t planning on telling the girls, but since every thought she had on the matter was a dead end, maybe they would have an idea. There had to be a reasonable explanation for how a note from a dead man ended up in her bedroom, right?.

“You look good ma?” Ruby read slowly, her brows meeting in the middle as she showed her confusion “and you’re sure it’s him? You haven’t secretly started seeing anyone else?”.

“That call me ma? No.. it’s him”.

”So you didn’t kill gang friend, that’s good, right?” Annie looked up from her plate to see the other two staring at her “what? we’re alive, so we might as well eat up”.

“Going into her room, completely undetected I might add, was probably a test run to see how far he could make it before we noticed”.

Beth kept stirring the eggs around her plate, even though she asked for help she had blocked out everything after Ruby questioned if she was dating. How could she move on from whatever they had if everything reminded her of Rio?. When she would brush the hair from her face after the wind blew it, it didn’t feel right if it wasn’t his hand. The park bench felt too long without him sitting at the other end, and she even started sleeping on the left side of the bed because he preferred the right. 

“Beth?”.

“Huh? Sorry I spaced off”.

“I asked if you wanted to stay over tonight?” Ruby questioned, quietly, worry taking over her voice. Beth knew if Rio was in fact alive, he would only go to her house and she wanted to be there when he did.

“Call me if he tries to kill you. I can’t promise I’ll be there before it happens, but I will get revenge for you” Annie said, dropping a couple fives on the table to pay for her portion of breakfast. The plan to discuss business was put on the back burner with the new revelation, they shouldn’t be trying to flip their game if he was back in town to mess with them.

They split up at the door, Beth made her way over to the side parking lot where her van sat alone under the lamp post. The car horns from the interstate blared as she opened up the door and slipped inside. Inserting her key into the ignition, a blue note on the dash caught her attention. She wondered if it was placed in her van at the same time as the mirror or if he had followed her to Lucky’s. Surely she would’ve noticed if his black BMW was following her from the house.

“You're special”.

She dug through her purse to find the note from earlier, and yep, it was the same handwriting. There was no doubt in her mind that Rio was back, but the question was, what for?. The drive back to her house had her double checking her surroundings and making sure no cars followed her for more than a couple blocks. Once she knew the coast was clear she entered the house, taking a deep breath before dropping onto the couch. The Law and Order marathon only kept her awake for so long before she started to doze off, her head lolling to the side. 

_ She entered his loft once again, with a key, its how it always started. No knocks, no fire escapes, and he was always waiting for her in the center of the room. This time was different, a few details had changed, the big one being Rio lying on the floor in a blood-soaked shirt. Her breathing slowed down, almost to a complete stop, she had never dreamed about what happened after she left Turner alone. Sure, she had thought about it, it would’ve been weird if she hadn’t. _

_ Blood was trailing down the sides of his mouth and his chest heaved. Beth went to turn around, unable to face the vision before her, but the door wouldn’t open no matter how much she twisted and pulled. _

_ “Where are you going Mrs. Boland?” Turner stepped forward, gun in hand and a smile on his face. _

_ “I don’t want- I want to leave, let me leave”. _

_ “Oh I’m not the one holding you here” he held out the gun and against her will she took it, holding it far from her body. When she switched it between her left and right hand, she noticed her hands were covered in dirt and blood. No, she wanted to wake up, she wanted to leave again. _

_ “I think you need to speak to my man here, he’s not looking too good” . _

_ Beth listened as Rio’s breathing turned shallow, his hand no longer reaching out for the phone Turner strategically placed just out of arm's reach. Cruel, unforgiving and it pissed her off. Raising the gun to his chest, she pulled the trigger to an empty click, so she tried again only to get the same result. _

_ “Did you think I would give you a loaded gun? I’m much smarter than he is”. _

_ She huffed, dropping the gun at her feet and rushed over to where Rio was lying. The blood was now caked onto his face, his eyes narrowing as she looked for something to stop the bleeding. She had saved Eddie when she first got involved in the organization, surely she had enough skill by now to save Rio. _

_ “Rio. Rio I need you to look at me” she brought her hands to his face, lightly brushing down his jawline, not caring about the blood because it was already on her hands. The symbolism was not lost on her - he wanted her to get her hands dirty, and she couldn’t, but now she had no choice except to deal with the guilt. _

_ “Times running out Mrs. Boland”. _

_ “Shut up. I’m trying to think” Beth yelled, ripping at the bottom of her shirt “Rio, I need you to hold this one ok?” she placed his hand on one wound and used her leg to slide his cellphone to her. _

_ “911, yes hi, I- uh, I need an ambulance. Yes this is an emergency”. _

_ She sat on the ground beside him, pressing down lightly on two of the gunshot wounds while his hand lay almost lifeless on the third. Why couldn’t she wake herself up from this nightmare? . _

_ "Elizab-”. _

_ “I’m here” . _

_ Tears started to fill her eyes at him being too weak to say her name, she regretted everything from that night and had shot the wrong man. Rio knew Turner wouldn’t leave her alone, wouldn’t let the girls go free, and she thought it was another lie. The room got bright, all the lights were turned on and the curtains were open wide. She let go of one wound to shield her eyes, the sound of a door opening made her glance back to where Turner had been standing, only he was gone. _

_ “Elizabeth”. _

She could finally open her eyes, the tears sat fresh on her eyelashes as she sat upright on the couch. During the nightmare she must’ve laid down, but she didn’t remember pulling the throw blanket on top of her. On the coffee table in front of her she could make out a pink square, it didn’t take her long to realize it was another note, she had missed him again.

Stretching her arm out, she grabbed a hold of the sticky note and held it up to her face. It was blank on both sides, she squinted, trying to see if it might have been written in pencil. “Seriously Rio, what the hell?” she muttered to herself, dropping the now crumpled paper to the ground. This was taking a toll on her psyche.

“You miss me honey?”.

Beth’s body quickly turned towards the kitchen, letting out a scream. Sitting on the kitchen countertop, just like their first encounter, was Rio in his signature black beanie and button up. 

“You- you’re not dead?”.

“Disappointed? Nah man, I got shit to do”.

Beth swallowed hard as he made his way to her, painfully slow, his eyes taking in every inch of her in typical Rio fashion. He closed the distance, their feet almost touching, chests inches apart and he chose that moment to run his tongue over his bottom lip. The situation was dangerous and not because he rose from the dead, but because even after everything, she still wanted him.

“What do you have to do? Kill me?.

“Always thinkin imma kill you” she searched his face as his hand raised to the side of hers. They had been in this same position before, she knew what was coming and sure enough, he brushed a piece of hair out of her face and ran his hand down her cheek.

The guilt, frustration and confusion rushed through her body as he turned to leave. She knew she didn’t deserve to know where he was going, what his plan was, or why he had left her all those notes, but it didn’t stop her from wanting to.

“I’ll swing by tomorrow yeah?".

Beth stood in the middle of the living room, speechless, pinching herself to ensure it wasn’t a dream -and it wasn’t, so she just nodded repeatedly. If the smirk was anything to go by, Rio had accomplished what he set out to do, which was shaking up Beth’s world once she believed the dust had settled.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the warm welcome to AO3 your comments and kudos made my week! There were some comments for a second chapter, and I had a little bit written already....I hope it don't disappoint! *nervous*

_ She climbed through the window brushing aside the curtain, the loft was empty and there was no sign of Rio except for a puddle of blood on the floor. It was the same spot where she last saw him, before she woke up, before she found out he was alive. Why was she here again? Did she still feel guilty even though she didn't kill him? Yeah, probably. _

_ She walked towards the puddle, taking notice of her bare feet against the floorboards and the shirt that barely covered her chest. It was plain, black, and she recognized it from his closet. _

_ "Rio?" She whispered, her footsteps sounding louder than they were, thudding across the surface with each step she took. Peeking first in his closet, then in the bathroom, he was nowhere to be found. The air changed around her as if it was sucking it directly from her lungs. She turned back towards the fire escape, she intended to leave, but then she saw him sitting at the end of Marcus's bed. _

_ "Ya know, Pop brought this to the hospital," he said, holding up a green dinosaur. _

_ "R-really?". _

_ Beth moved into the opening, standing just off to his right, she didn’t want to press her luck with a fully conscious Rio. When she pulled the trigger she hadn't thought of Marcus, she was pissed at being set up and angry at him for calling her just work. He rotated the T Rex in his hands, that's when she saw it, the hospital admittance bracelet. _

_ "Elizabeth his face-" he paused, tossing the stuffed dinosaur to her. She lunged forward, praying she wouldn’t drop it. When she stood upright they were no longer in Marcus's room, no longer in the loft, but in the waiting room at the hospital. _

_ She was sitting in the same chair she had been in months ago, when Dean got shot, except this time she was all alone. There was no laughter, no mixed feelings, all she felt was heartbreak. Feeling a cloth between her fingers, she looked down seeing it was his blood stained shirt. She wanted to drop it, she wanted to scream, but she couldn't find it in herself to do either._

_ "Miss Boland?" A nurse called out, glancing up from her clipboard. _

_ "Yes?". _

_ "You can see your boyfriend now. He had some pain medication earlier, so don’t be alarmed if he’s not awake," she explained, motioning with her hand to a hallway. _

_ "Boyfriend?". _

_ Beth stood up and her feet moved on their own accord, as if she had been there before, but she hadn't-- not in reality or in her sleep. She followed bloody footprints to a room at the end of the hallway, the door was already open waiting for her to enter. She didn’t want to go in, if she had to be here, if she had to see this, she’d rather just stay in the waiting room pretending everything would be fine. _

_ "His son hasn't left his side, it's sad" the nurse spoke, gently nudging Beth into the room. The door immediately shut once she was inside, she had no choice but to face the consequences. Rio was lying on the hospital bed, he was hooked to many monitors and a full bowl of fruit sat untouched on the cart. She wasn’t sure why that drew her attention, maybe it was the mom in her wanting to ensure they ate. _

_ "Daddy got hurt Miss Beth" he wept, wiping his nose on his jacket sleeve. _

_ Letting go of Rio's hand, Marcus rushed over to her side grabbing onto hers. She was led to his bedside, his breathing was a little heavier than her last dream, that was a good sign, right? There were no flowers or balloons, almost as if no one other than Marcus had visited. She reached out, her fingertips ghosting over his cheek, even though he was asleep she couldn't help but apologize. _

_ "I'm sorry" she whispered, unable to trust her own voice. The tears in his son’s eyes, the ones that were rolling down his cheeks, it broke her heart. She was the bad guy, this was her fault, and this is what she got for thinking he didn’t care about her. _

_ Alarms started to go off around her and the monitor to her right started flashing. Marcus burst into tears, and before she had a second to ask what was going on, a team of nurses rushed into the room pushing her to the back wall. She grabbed onto Marcus’s shoulders, trying to calm not only him, but herself down as her heart started to pound. _

_ "Rio. What is going on? What is happening to him?". _

_ "His blood pressure is dropping".. _

_ A different woman from earlier, who she assumed was a nurse told her they needed to exit the room. That was the last thing Beth wanted to do, every other nightmare she wanted to run, she refused to face what she had done, but to see this, he didn’t deserve to go through this alone. She thought back to his comment about it being lonely at the top, she knew that feeling all too well and maybe that’s why they had worked.. _

_ "I'm not leaving him again" she exclaimed, attempting to move closer to the bed with Marcus behind her. _

_ "Ma'am we need you to step outside. Grab some coffee, this shouldn’t take long”. _

_ Beth stood against the hall wall, Marcus's face was pressed to her stomach as she heard the staff inside the room. _

_ Had this really happened? Was her nightmares making everything ten times worse? She was crying so intensely her breathing became ragged, she willed it to stop so she wouldn’t upset Marcus further. _

_ "Don't cry, daddy gets sad when you cry" he replied, just as quiet. Somewhere along the dream they had decided that was the acceptable volume. _

_ "He-" she squeaked, letting more tears stream down her face. Marcus was innocent, he didn't deserve to be going through this, neither did Rio. He held out the green dinosaur she saw Rio with earlier, nodding his head as if to answer her silent question, was it for her?. _

_ "Thank you". _

_ Beth wiped her face with her hand, she didn't know if it was tears or snot, she had stopped caring. Marcus stood next to her, leaning his head against her arm and she could still hear his sniffles. If her heart wasn’t already broken, that had done it. _

_ "I brought it for daddy" he faltered "cause he's sick...it'll make him better". _

_ "Yeah, he'll get better" she murmured, her other hand was on the back of his head, lightly ruffling his hair. She has had several dreams since the night at the loft, whether she was shooting Rio or trying to save him, this one hurt the most. The look on his little face, Rio lying motionless in the hospital bed, she was never going to be fine. _

Beth rolled over onto her side, letting out a groan as she stared blankly at her dresser. She was numb in real life, just waiting for him to show up, waiting for him to decide he wanted to kill her after all. It was in her dreams where all the guilt hit and tears flowed. All she wanted to do was grab his hand and tell him how much she missed him, how much she needed him there beside her, and how much he meant to her.

Sitting up in bed, she noticed a folded piece of white paper on the right pillow. She had no idea how he went around undetected, how he always found a way into her house even when the locks were changed, it didn't even scare her he could. Reaching over she easily picked up the note, she expected to see the same messy scrawl she had grown fond of over the last couple weeks, but it was a drawing instead.

A drawing of a little stick figure next to a bigger one. She knew immediately who drew it, Marcus, it was of him and Rio.

_ "You don't know me" she lied, catching the confident smile on his face. _

_ "I think I do". _

That wasn't a lie, from the bourbon to her dreams he knew her. Flipping over the drawing, right under the words to the best daddy was his note. She ignored the sharp pang that struck her heart.

"Park 2pm".

She let the note float from her hand to her lap, sliding down the mattress until she could lay her head back on the pillow. It was 6am, she had less than eight hours until she met Rio, the question now was, does she bring Jane. 

_ She must've dozed off, because she was back in the hospital room with her head resting on the flat mattress. While she was thankful the previous nightmare was over, she still felt guilty that she left him alone during it, even if it was a figment of her imagination. Wiping the sleep from her eyes she saw his vitals were stable, the alarms had stopped and Marcus was curled up in a chair sound asleep, the dinosaur tucked under his chin. _

_ "Why you here?" He growled, moving some cords out of the way as her hand crept forward. Even after everything they've been through, he didn’t pull away from her, instead he waited patiently for her to wake._

_ "Since I can't tell you this in person, at least not yet, I missed you" she cried, deciding to do what she wanted since he reappeared, she held his hand, running her fingers over the tape holding his IV in place "It’s not the same without you". _

Beth slowly finished packing a small lunch, got Jane to put on pants and keep them on, before heading out to the van. She peeked in first to ensure no stray notes or drawings were waiting to surprise her. Jane was giddy when she heard they were going to the park, she'd been waiting impatiently to see Marcus. She tried not to get her daughter's hopes up that he'd be there, although it wasn't a bad assumption based off the clue he left. 

She kept to the speed limit, constantly checking behind her at every stop sign to ensure they were alone. Pulling into the parking lot, the same spot as usual, she saw Rio's car on the side of the road. Holding Jane close to her side, she passed the small ninja turtle backpack over, looking around for Rio since he wasn't on their bench. 

Jane was the first to spot them, it shouldn't be a surprise she had a keen sense of where Marcus was, much like Beth did with Rio, but for different reasons. 

"Marcus, mom its Marcus" Jane jumped, tugging Beth's arm forward as she started to run.

_ "They best friends huh?" He observed, watching Marcus and Jane take turns pushing each other on the swings. _

_ "Yeah, Jane keeps asking if Marcus can stay over". _

_ She let the comment hang in the air, watching as Jane helped Marcus climb up the jungle gym. _

_ "Ma, if you want me just ask" he teased, biting back a smile when Beth turned to him flabbergasted. _

"Mommy come on".

Beth was pulled the rest of the way until she was standing in front of Rio, there was no going back and that's when Jane took off. The kids embraced in a hug before Marcus passed the soccer ball. She couldn't help but smile at the sight before her, her youngest daughter had her friend back, the same couldn't be said for her. They still had a long road ahead of them, she just wished there weren't so many red lights, the problem was, she had put them all up.

She sat on the bench, as far as possible from Rio, much to his amusement. Twiddling her thumbs, she sat hoping he would break the uncomfortable silence. Several minutes passed, no words were said, no glances were met, and it was torturing Beth.

"Is this your plan?" She questioned, finally looking in his direction.

He didn't look at her, he just kept watching as Marcus and Jane celebrated a goal, as if they weren't playing against each other.

"Nah, Pop missed ya girl".

She sighed, slouching on the bench not in defeat but exhaustion. Between starting her own empire, trying to figure out what he was doing and the nightmares that shook her to the core every night, it was too much.

"You never answered" Rio said, running his hands across his knees. Beth knew he was referring to his question at her house, if she had missed him, and even though she told him in her dream she needed to say it directly. 

"I did, no... I do" she confessed, in a whisper, taking another quick glance in his direction. When she did she saw shock, like he didn't expect her to answer and honestly, she surprised herself she got the words out. All she got in response was a hum, before he slid over closer to her.

She couldn’t take back what she did that night at his house, but maybe, just maybe they were now one step closer to getting back to where they were.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything appeared to be getting better for them, but was it really?
> 
> or
> 
> "Rio... don't leave me".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't stop writing these beautiful disasters and Beth has a lot of guilt. Hehe I hope you enjoy part 3 :)
> 
> Once again thank you for your kudos, comments, I really loved hearing what you thought about it - made my week!
> 
> I don't own any characters/show and any similarities to other works is coincidental.

Since the day at the park things had been different, better, and far less complicated. They had started working together again, despite Annie's protests that her nightmares had caused her to lose her mind.

_ "You shot him Beth, and he just waltzes back in and welcomes you with open arms? you don't find that suspicious?” Ruby asked, not believing her ears. She thought it was a joke, that there was just kidding waiting on the tip of her tongue, but no. _

_ “This is going to end badly, it has too”. _

_ And maybe Annie was right, maybe it would end badly, but she thought it was worth the risk. Waking up to him, going to work with him, then coming home to him, it wasn't something she had expected would happen, especially not as quickly as it did, but she loved every minute of it. They were never going to be a normal couple, no, and they had accepted that. She understood why the girls were reserved, why they continued to think he had ulterior motives for joining their operation. Turner had disappeared without saying a word, there were no follow up visits, no tailing them on the way to the grocery store.. nothing. For a man who made it his life mission to hunt them down, and put them behind bars, it was odd, and it lined up perfectly to when Rio revealed himself. _

She was lying in his bed, not in a dream or a nightmare, but actually in his bed. When she says things were different, one thing never changed, when they fell back into crime, they also fell into bed. More often than not the girls assumed she was with him, calling his phone the second she didn't answer.

He groaned, rolling over to grab his phone from the nightstand "it's your girl".

She took the phone from his hand, holding it up to her face she saw Ruby's name, so he did know their names after all, she'd have to tell them.

"Ruby? Why didn't you call me?... oh you did?".

Rio moved back to his previous position, up against her, she never pegged him for a cuddler. He started to play with the lace at the top of her panties, this was typical, he wanted everyone to know.

"Rio-" she giggled, as his hand brushed across a sensitive spot on her thigh. 

Ruby quickly hung up, cutting herself off mid sentence and she couldn't blame her, she would've too, but it worked out in their favor. 

_ A series of loud knocks beat against his door, he told her to wait and that he'd be back, but she promised herself she wouldn't leave him again. So she followed, matching his large steps with her smaller ones, moving at double-time. _

_ Turner pushed himself through the door once the lock was released, knocking his shoulder purposely into Rio's. _

_ "It took me a while to find this place again, the swollen eye seemed to mess with my surroundings, but I'm a smart man." Turner said, picking up random items from the counter. First a vase, then a box of tea bags before picking up a picture of Marcus and Rio. The same picture frame Beth had focused on the first time she broke into his loft, the smiles on their faces as they sat together, the same ones she got to see every trip to the park._

_ Beth swallowed watching the scene unfold, Turner knew of her kids, but doubted he knew of Rio's. It was something he kept close to his chest, for good reason, in their line of work having loved ones was dangerous. _

_ "Cute kid". _

_ "Why the fuck you here?" Rio growled, matching the intensity. Beth moved closer to Rio on instinct, whether it was to feel safe or to keep Turner's movements in her sight, she didn't know. _

_ "Back in business I see. Rio my man, what is it about her? Hmm, she shoots you, leaves you for dead and what? not so tough are you" Turner snarled, stepping forward with his service pistol drawn. He wasn't a placeholder for her guilt, he seemed so real, so life like. _

_ "Leave". _

_ One word, that's all it took to send shivers up Beth's spine. She knew he was dangerous, she knew he could be violent, but never with them, unless you counted the time he didn't want to sell their dolls. _

_ They were figurines, treasures, not dolls, but that was beside the point. _

_ "I'll leave when I finish this" Turner responded, cryptically. He aimed the gun in Rio's direction, she saw his hand was shaking and Beth did the only thing she could think of, she pushed Rio out of the way. He landed on the floorboards with a soft thud, as she quickly joined him, not so gracefully._

_ A sharp, throbbing pain ripped through her, she vaguely could hear Turner cursing about making a mistake, and the sound of the door closing soon after. _

_ "Rio..don't leave me" she whispered, reaching to grab his hand, the same hand holding a towel to the gunshot wound. Karma, idiocy, there were so many ways to describe it, but she could only think about how it hurt like a bitch. _

_ "I aint leavin you mama, breathe". _

_ There was a ringing in her ears, she could feel her own chest heaving with each breath she tried to take, was this what it felt like for Rio? And god, she had shot him three times. _

_ "We have a female, single gunshot to the abdomen and she's lost a lot of blood". _

_The doctor placed an oxygen mask onto her, her vision was already blurred from the tears filling her eyes, the cords on the mask doing her no favors. She tried to find Rio, tried to reach out for his hand, but she couldn't move a muscle no matter how hard she tried. _

_ A single tear rolled down her cheek, he said he wouldn’t leave her, yet he was nowhere to be found. Maybe it's what she deserved, but she didn't want it to be over, she wanted to live. _

She jumped up, gasping for air as if someone was blocking her airflow. She peeked over to her right to see Rio was still asleep, his hand resting on her leg. She lifted her arm inspecting for wounds, blood or bandages, only to find nothing. When they had reconnected, when she finally had the chance to apologize and Turner vowed to leave, she thought the nightmares would end. That wasn't the case, instead they reached a whole new level, she was now sacrificing herself for him.

"Stop thinkin so much, lay down" Rio mumbled, his voice still thick with sleep. Letting out a small laugh, she rested her head against his chest. She could feel his hand find a strand of her hair, twirling it lightly as her eyes counted the bruised markings, the ones from the bullets, the ones she made on his previously unbattered skin.

No matter how many times she's seen him shirtless, knowing she was the reason behind them, it was a constant reminder of what she did and what she was capable of, and that scared her. 

"I'm sorry" she said, brushing her finger against one mark. It had to have been the fifth, or sixth time she's apologized since the park, and she had a hundred more with his name on it. He pressed a kiss to her knuckles, and placed her hand back on his chest.

"We're good".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so tempted to add more chapters to this now that they're on happier terms, maybe a part 2 will be in the works :)


End file.
